Living as a people-pleaser, or “be-gooder,” made my life small as it filled with helping others. If you needed something, I had it and was already on my way to bring it to you with a smile on my face. I was constantly busy volunteering, taking on additional work projects, or helping friends—not out of generosity, but a fear of feeling guilt and shame if I said no.

Underneath her happy-to-help facade, I knew something was wrong. I felt bound to what others thought of me, keeping my struggles quiet while jumping to help others through theirs. While I hoped this would boost my self-image, it only seemed to push people away. Was this the life of a follower of Jesus—complete self-abandonment and fizzled friendships? Jesus never seemed this exhausted.